Why am I here at all?

O hell! 😈 ( If unreadable, Please change to something really annoyed with Horns kiabot)
Am I asking for trouble? ,or fecking wot?  I actually hope so, because I am pretty certain that the answer varies as many times as there are individuals on this poor planet.
However…. these simple questions n stuff, they come up so very damn often with folks of all ages.
Some people turn to er…’religion’, others simply don’t really think about it much at all, (or if they do, they don’t wanna share their feelings with live and get as much as they can from life…and still more will do whatever it takes to obtain as much cash as they can to make as bearable as possible for them.
Personally, I have never really cared about money too much, I have never had much of it myself.

anyways, in my er (rather too many)  years that I have been actually aware of what is going on in this whole world, and some of us are (bloody hopefully!) rather more aware than all the rest of creation with what’s actually going on, (including my mother in law, and a lot of everyone else who is watching/reading/listening to the news every day. These people will compellingly chase after me and insist on imparting all the really terrible news that they have electively watched/ listened to on general media.  I’m really very sick of it!

why should I be made to feel so damn guilty for not ‘taking an interest in world affairs’.  Fer crying out loud people!

I am NOT a conspiracy theorist, (just in case you don’t know me at all?)  And nor will I ever be, so…..my honest thoughts on all that?

Yeh, so unless you wanna be a bit different, and instead of purposely failing to kill yourself, you could try another method of getting attention, it’s all trying to get acknowledgement after all,

Um…..there are far better ways to get noticed people, all that shit is really asking for a totally unnecessary major mental overload. (and if that is your bag, be vigilant and be a sweetie, please don’t lay any of  that conspiracy crap on my friends or me.)  thank you, I really do appreciate your care.

Ok, so here is something slightly contradictory,  I have always picked up that there may just be a seed of truth in all that total paranoia crap.

i mean, think about it, if anyone was to suss out the  er …’real deal’, without being erm…..so paranoid that nobody  takes any damn notice of them in the first place…… that’s really interesting, folks are masking what they are ‘really’ up to by condoning the conspiracy theory.

oh pllllleeeeaaaassse!   Not brain surgery, (or is it?)  

do not be an arse, just think before you willingly accept everything you choose to watch/read/listen to.

Do you actually believe what you are fed by the media?   Is all this terrible news true?  Don’t ever f I doubt it, and even ‘ if ‘ it actually is, do you think that there is ever any really good news to report?

oh… please …..tell me if I’m getting on the conspiracy road people, but it really seems that everything we are er….. fed has been ‘geared’.

where is all the good news on tv/newspapers/radio etc?

was there never anything totally brill happening?

I am very suspicious of power and money, oh hell yeh! …… but I’m still essentially optimistic.  Is that even workable anymore?

probably not.

Anyroadtonowhere…..herrrrrree we go again peoples… so? wot do you very refreshing folks think about all that total shit?

And while I’m at it,  are any folks at all that feel at the very least bit uncomfortable about the feel of all the crap they are being fed  right now?…… yeh, it makes everything sooooo very easy for me,, but even as I am rite now, I guess it could easily happen, 😜, but  because I am sooooo being directed at the moment, coz  I am in a really terrible state right now.

——— below entry added about three months or more later…………

so, there you are. This draft was written in between my stints of caring for my mum for 3 months, (COPD with chest infection,)  and then caring for my mother in law for 3 months, (who was booked in to have right hip replacement, then three days before appointment she fell and broke her left hip.)

Yeah, I admit, I’m still somewhat miffed, but i think I need to mention that not long before all this, I was thinking to myself that I could never be a carer.  Oh crap!

(thanks a bundle Ron!)

I don’t feel as bad now as I did then,  maybe (hopefully,) due to new meds, maybe due to new thinking….. who actually bloody nose?  

I really, really like this pic, at that couple of weeks or so, I was the happiest I had been for a very, very long time, and I  felt so very relaxed when I was with @anton, @dana and a couple of our mutual friends/relations. I will always appreciate your help/support/opinion etc. But mostly the really rather euphoric realisation that there really ‘are’ people that I can feel comfortable and happy with.

…is it the walk of shame?  For most of humanity, maybe, but I don’t actually soddin care.  (Confessions will be very fairly and magically dealt with, so no worries there folks. ).

Anywaze…..I reckon it’s the walk of er…. some people with me that made me feel totally comfortable, and that  I will always like.

ohhh yeh!  Y’know,  I would really love to expand on @dana ‘s totally brilliant photo, coz not only was she missing herself through taking the pic in the first place, but there should’ve been so many more wonderful people/mages with me in that image. xxx


Comments ( 2 )

  1. Freeman Presson

    I gather that you ran out of Slack for a bit there. I may have overdrawn my Slack account lately ...

  2. trace

    Aw! ...... wot the heck Freeman... (can't find your @I name) let's face it, I must be overdrawn on my 'slack account' by ohhh!! .... I'd guess at the very least........23,0000000000000000 by now.

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