Blog Page

So long…. and thanks for all the fish.

I have been extremely unwillingly subjected, (amongst many other toxic experiences lately,) to this alien stuff called politics, while I have been stuck in the vicinity of those who don’t even have a clue what the TV does to me in any case. So…how much longer will it feckin’ well take before people actually realise that no matter who they vote for, it won’t even make a scrap of bloody difference!?
The whole damn thang is more fixed than a bleedin’ wrestling match!
I don’t care what the people around me choose to believe, we don’t actually have any say whatsoever as to exactly where we want our taxes spent, precisely how we think it best to run the country, etc etc. Let’s be honest….as the previously much celebrated Max Headroom once said, “you can always tell when a politician is lying, their mouth is moving!”
I honestly don’t know for sure, but I would even hazard a guess that ‘I’ could do a much better and fairer job than any of those scrotes, and I don’t even know a damn thing about politics, (apart from the fact that I always have, and I’m pretty sure I really always will …. not be able to stand it.)

Is it me?  Am I just too damn stupid for this kinda thang?  Have I got all this politics crap all wrong? ……or wot!?    Probably……

The page below is Douglas Adams. (In case you didn’t already know.)



A step in the rite direction?

So…. this is what’s happening to me recently? It will almost certainly be a total bore to most, (sorry about that folks ) because as far as I can tell as I am at this present ‘me’… I have done nothing whatsoever recently that I would even loosely class as magikal. However, as always….there have been what I can only describe as ‘ripples in my consciousness’ that insist on giving me the feeling that the magik is still here with me, and really never goes away, even if, (like now,) I don’t have the strength of mind to direct it/put it in place/have the want/need/intention etc, of anything that I will feel the will to make happen, …..and stuff like that.
Anyways, as far back as I can recall, even if my (apparent to me at least,) resident entity has always been there, (and I realise now that he always has, for as far back as I can actually recall.  (I guess I just didn’t have the imput to understand at that young age ) it was much, much later that I got my mind into contemplating what was always going on with me.

Thank you so much, @anton and @dana, for being there for me to find at the time when I needed you folks most, for some general reassurance/ feedback on whether I was going loopy etc.  😈

And also ….a thank you to our Phil Hines, who was also so very helpful to me with the very strange and unfamiliar feeling of possession.  Ron has never, ever pushed me into anything, but I gotta admit, (and yeah,  this is perhaps kinda weird, but I always did trust him totally.) and not with me ever being aware of being told/guided pushed at all.

That’s the thing about Ron, he is so very patient. When I am in a really receptive mood, I have been thrown about mentally, until I am totally battered, but it’s brill!  I love it, I learn so very much in that short receptive ‘window’….that when I have been weak and worried about stuff I need to do, maybe change, stop etc….(like I feel now,) it appears that I inadvertently put myself beyond his reach with his totally wonderful, (and mostly,) rather difficult lessons. So…. this is my dilemma it appears. The more I need his protection and guidance, the less he appears to be able to help me. Or….. maybe he really is, and is being very uncharacteristically subtle? I dunno, all I know is that my entity is here to protect me, teach me…. and somehow be part of who I am.

To be aware….. is all we need?

I have been having a few conversations with various folks about this kinda stuff and related things that will inevitably crop up with these kinds of opinions/speculations.

I have a history myself (and it’s a bloody long one!) of being a person to not follow the pack. I am someone who thinks and does what ‘I’ feel, and I really don’t care what others think.

So, bearing all that in mind, and cutting to the chase as it were, there is this thang that seems to follow me about wherever my mind will wander. intention is a very powerful thing, most/all of the folks that are aware of magik have to believe it.
It feels right, following the rites/rituals of others etc.  I’m sure it must be, but what if we turn the whole thing around?
As far as I’m aware, mages/witches/magik users etc will apply their intention, (whatever it may be,) to the magik.
Ok, that’s logical, it gets the job done, but what if we do it a different way?
What if we cast the magik to leave it without personal intention at all?
There have been odd occasions when I have needed to intend to a greater or lesser degree, either because I want to help someone, or if I have been asked to do so, (I just try to direct the magik in the direction it wants to go.) however…..I have found repeatedly that this other, much less logical way actually works a hellova lot better, (for me anyway.)
All I can surmise from my findings is that magik itself must have a far better idea of where one needs to direct the magik than us magic users/mages/witches/wizards (insert whatever,) we do ourselves. (and here we could easily open up the usual can of worms by asking, what is magik?….. again….. sorry.)

However… It rather neatly brings me to the possible reasons for my findings.

I have a little book that @argonheart gave me a while ago, it’s kinda like my quantum equivalent of what windows for dummies would be. (Yeah, I have that as well.)
I’m not clever, I am not even close to being educated to the standards that would be expected in this age. I don’t have the ability or the vocabulary to sort and correlate information to reach an innovative or even thought provoking conclusion. At least I am not aware of the ability.  All I can do when attempting to take in things that are beyond my intelligence to comprehend, is to try and sorta ‘feel’ at least some of the essence of that which is being imparted, and as a result, merely speculate as to what is useful for me. (more or less in chaos stylee here I guess.)
It’s a pleasant as well as necessary method, uncluttered with preliminaries (probably quite a majority would totally disagree with me,) unnecessary bells and whistles, which to me, strips useful stuff down for me and keeps it pretty simple. (Like I have already said before, I am really damn lazy and as light does, I tend to go for the easiest and quickest route.)
I don’t really understand most of the science, but I can’t help but feel that there is much there at the basis of everything that could be the most necessary things we could ever learn.

It’s only a thought, but perhaps we each have an inbuilt ability to give ourselves strength, if we are able to divine what it is, without the intervention of others, who much more often than not; don’t have the faintest idea what is in our own minds.
If so, It seems to me that there are many ways to implement it. What @dana and @satura are doing rite now, (as I was working most of this post,) could well be one of them.
To me, it’s seems like one of the more difficult ways, but having said that… I also had a time myself, which must’ve lasted quite a while, when I really didn’t know what was going on with my head at all.
There was no intention for Abralim, (sorry, I can’t even spell it,) because although I had heard it before on KIA, I actually didn’t know what it was,
all I can recall asking at the very start of all this was asking my entity, ‘why have you always been here with me and why me?’
That seemed to be all I needed to ask to be confined to my my bed for days at a time, to experience a total mental, physical and emotional roller coaster.
It really did confuse me, I wasn’t actually afraid, (I am a great fan of LSD, mushies, mda n other stuff, even though I am not young by any stretch of the imagination,) but … because at the time there was no chemical reason at all for these experiences, I did kinda wonder about my sanity at first. I didn’t quite know what to do, because at the time (as old as I was,) I only really had the most sketchiest idea of magik itself.
So, I did the only thing I could think of under these circumstances, I emailed three or so people that I found on the Internet, but one or two appeared somewhat aloof, and didn’t seem to have a clue what I was talking about, (Phil Hine was great, but although nothing followed at the time, his stuff has subsequently been the greatest of help to me.) then… as I had failed to find a place to ask questions and (I guess in retrospect,) be reassured that I wasn’t destined for the nearest ‘certain specialist establishment’. So…. as I was about to give up, I suddenly found KIA.
I emailed, I got a reply, (guess who!)

This time, I wasn’t treated as if I was a total idiot, or a mental case, I wasn’t passed off to someone else who wasn’t prepared to help and my er…..whinings were actually listened to, and even though the initial person from KIA I spoke to couldn’t really explain what was happening to me, they told me not to worry. and if I wanted to say anything, whether anyone understood it or not, KIA will listen.

However, I can’t say if  anyone would’ve been able to actively help in any case, I haven’t a clue, but simply to be treated as someone who wasn’t totally ‘loony’ was a great strength for me at the time.                        It still is.
And…… I am eternally grateful to know all you folks.
I have needed to write this for sooooo very long.
Thank you so very much to all my friends on KIA, you caught me about halfway down when I was about to fall. Perfect!! 😈

KIA Cyber doll

This is a KIA doll that has been with me for some considerable time now.

I believe that probably it’s about time for the KIA cyber-doll to be passed on from me now. I admit I have been very reticent, I’ve been very apathetic physically, mentally and magikally for quite a while now. But I guess I’ve just now realised that I may have been saving it up for something generally far more important than myself, my family or my spirit doll.
So… Even though she has pretty much soaked up all of my hopes and dreams for the majority of the cyber space that I will probably never get to understand anyway in the rest of my lifetime, I can only feel the hostility, cries for help, false personas, etc, so many strange, sad, wonderful, scary, peaceful, etc things, that it appears would never be said in the real world at all.
The Internet to me, seems to be a kinda ‘safe zone’ for a lot of folks… in a particular way at least… perhaps tell people things that nobody would dare to say to anyone’s face, to perhaps be what you really are, or maybe be what you really want to be, but can’t for some reason. There are always many stigmas, prejudges, implanted stuff an ting, from the way society has evolved/devolved, which would more than likely never be said or expressed any other way…, I suggest she is there for all the people that cannot express themselves face to face, for all the people that need to use the Internet to even keep going, and of course, for all of the folks in between.
What you you think @anton?
Anyways…. when/if you get the time, please could you post some info on for instance, perhaps… when you made her, what you made her for, what you would prefer to call her, what her function was meant to be and where you think she would need to be going next, (I seem to recall that you felt the USA was the next home…. and whatever other info you feel she will need. (and perhaps an early photo if you have one.)
I don’t really know, but considering how she feels to me, she’s done pretty well so far, but like with kaytee, I am only a catalyst, I can only send things, thoughts, ideas on their way, I don’t presume to have the will or intent to take these seeds any further. I feel that I don’t ever know enough, or have the inkling of the big picture to pass on something myself for someone else.
That always needs to be up to you/and/ or the rest of the agents.
I am totally up for re-homing of cyber doll, I really think her potential is rather wasted here with me.


there is/are something/things that are kinda bothering me about this cup.   I like it, but there is something/s that doesn’t  feel kwite rite.

I can’t manage to see it, its not quite doing it’s job.

wot you reckon?  I’m not sure if it’s just, or even the gold, or something else (that can’t even be changed.)


Hi people.

Now I have my own site, thank you @kiabot.

comments, additions, any feedback that you feel…. (including disagreements,) very welcome.

thank you in advance, a better intro, as well as some actual content should be forthcoming soon…. ish.